May be a hard question for many, and they may return what do you think I am doing or have been doing all my life? Others may ponder for a moment, wondering why you would ask such a question; there is something more lurking behind the question. There is an underlying factor. Is there a common ground between the two opinions? The question in itself may be self defeating, as for many the understanding is that spirituality is a personal and private thing. Yes, I am free to make that choice, that decision whom and what I worship, live my life the way I think is fine with God. Others may contend, if you are spiritual, it may be private in terms of choice but must be visibly lived and expressed. For me the answer to the question can be basically simple but depends on what we understand spirituality to mean.
If to one it is meant regular church attendance, being the bishop, singing in the choir, be worship leader, yet on the other hand, no secret is safe with you, you cannot keep what you heard then think again. Dressed to look the part, you are the first at every meeting, shout the loudest in church, having a holier than thou attitude, but as church is over you cannot wait to stick the knife in someone’s back. You cannot be trusted with a secret, and you spread every rumour whether true or not, to destroy your brother and sister that Christ died for, that is not spirituality. The apostle James (3:11), asked you this, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” Gossiping is known as a three tongue destructive, you may not know it but you are destroying the person you gossip about, the person who you are telling and yourself! But this goes another way, how many of you have heard something about someone, and start to hate them, make them your enemy, no longer speak to them nor keep company with them? Do you know, or can you prove that what was said to be true? I know things are tough, and many are depressed with the circumstances of life, but we must learn not to take anything we hear personally. We should as spiritual people avoid thinking that anything others do is because of us, it may not be. Not everything is about you or us! What other people say and do may be a situation of their own circumstances, their own reality, their own dreams, hopes and aspirations. It is only when we become like Teflon, invulnerable to gossip, peoples opinions and actions, that you won’t be the casualty of pointless misery. Peoples opinions of you must never define you, because they are almost always wrong!
However, if you are hurt about what was said, that your brother have something’s against you, is it not better to confront it, find out what it is, before you start hating and avoiding them? That is just as bad, and lacks spiritual maturity. Remember that you cannot pray properly until the matter is settled, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you… leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift” Matt. 5: 23. So do you still think that you are spiritual, yet you cannot escape the verdict of guilt? The Christian message is that we speak with integrity for and about each other. Repeat with clarity and purposefulness only what you know to be true and mean what you say. Circumvent using the negative, hurtful word that will in and of itself speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Remember words spoken unwisely cause pain even if you did not mean hurt. Use therefore the power of your word in the direction of truth and love with an aim to uplift and build rather than to tear down and destroy. Would it not be nice if we all get along with each other? Listen to what the Psalmist said. “yā-ḥaḏ. gam-’a-ḥîm še-ḇeṯ nā-‘îm; ū-mah- ṭō-wḇ mah- hin-nêh lə-ḏā-wiḏ ham-ma-‘ă-lō-wṯ, šîr” or “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” If we live for each other, support each other, uplift others with our words, we are living the biblical way of spirituality.